Showing posts with label Guokas. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Guokas. Show all posts

Sunday, May 10, 2026

Memories for Mother's Day

This isn't specifically a memory about Mother's Day, but it is a memory of my mom, and her mother, my maternal grandmother.  This photograph of Sara Melzina Wolfe Guokas Archibald (1907-1997) with her daughter Geraldine Margaret Guokas Pape (1929-2019) was taken in Fredericksburg, Texas, in September 1993.  Mom and Dad had moved into their new post-retirement home there (at 1003 Avenue A) just the month before, and over the course of a few days, both of my grandmothers, my maternal aunt, and all of my siblings came to visit them.  I flew down from my then-home in Lynnwood, Washington, for the same few days that overlapped with their visits.  



© Amanda Pape - 2026 - e-mail me!

Sunday, May 11, 2025

Memories for Mother's Day

This isn't specifically a memory about Mother's Day, but it is a memory of my mom, her sister, and their mother, my maternal grandmother.  I took the photograph below on a visit home to Houston, Texas (I was living and working in Corpus Christi at the time) on April 18, 1982.  From left to right are my grandmother Sara Melzina Wolfe Guokas Archibald (1907-1997) and her daughters, my aunt Jo Ann (Sister Jean Marie) Guokas (1930-2024), and my mother, Geraldine Margaret Guokas Pape (1928-2017).  



© Amanda Pape - 2025 - e-mail me!

Saturday, November 30, 2024

Remembering Mom - It's Been Five Years



Geraldine Margaret Guokas Pape (1928-2019) on Thanksgiving Day, 2016.


I'm writing this very early in the morning on Thanksgiving Day, 2024, before I head to Austin, so I guess it is fitting that I'm using a photograph from another Thanksgiving in Austin, in 2016.  Mom looks good in this photo (taken by my brother Mark on my late husband Mark's and my digital single lens reflex camera), despite being in the early stages of the nonfluent/agrammatic primary progressive aphasia, a form of fronto-temporal degeneration, that would take her life at age 91. 

Next year, NO-vember will have the anniversaries of four family deaths - Dad on the 6th, my maternal grandmother Sara Wolfe Guokas Archibald on the 16th, my maternal aunt Jo Ann (Sister Jean Marie) Guokas on the 23rd, and Mom on the 30th.


© Amanda Pape - 2024 - e-mail me!

Wednesday, November 27, 2024

Sister Jean Marie (Jo Ann) Guokas, C. V. I., September 12, 1030 - November 23, 2024


My maternal aunt, Sister Jean Marie (born Jo Ann) Guokas, C. V. I. (1930-2024), lived a rather remarkable life.  Her official obituary gives most of the facts, but in this blog post, I'm going to quote from an autobiography she wrote in 2009 and added to in 2013.  I'm also posting a few of my favorite or most significant pictures of her that I haven't posted elsewhere in this blog (check for the label "Sister Jean Marie" for all those posts).




Above and below:  Sister Jean Marie was interviewed by Tracy Hatfield for an article entitled "A Wii bit of fun" published in the December 2008 issues of The Bellaire Buzz and the West University Buzz - and was the cover girl for both!



Revised version of my 67 years (1946-2013) since I entered the Incarnate Word Congregation as a 15-year-old young girl, having just completed my sophomore year of high school at Incarnate Word Academy (IWA).  How best can I summarize these years for a web page [no longer in existence] that a young woman might read and become interested in a religious vocation?  Guess at this point in my life, I want it to serve as my autobiography.

Up until the time that I retired (July 1, 2011) from active ministry, my answer has always been the same: "Would not want one thing to change."  Many people weaved in and out of my life that really helped to make my life significant, even the ups and downs helped me experience a fullness of life far from what I expected at age fifteen.  Hopefully they made me be a stronger, faithful servant of the Lord for all these years.  

Today, I do not believe that I can truthfully say that I would not want one thing to change.  There have been several events and actions that I wished could have been different.  This appears to be the challenge that faces me now.  Asking myself what is God asking of me at this time in my life - what changes in my attitude must I let go of to bring more peace and joy into my life.

During the 2012 year, I was finally able to take a long desired sabbatical.  Because of my age [82] and health limitations, I did not want to attend two four-month programs.  So I set up my own type of sabbatical,  I found a six-week program entitled "Sabbatical Journey in the Southwest" in Albuquerque, New Mexico.  That suited my need at the time.  It gave me the opportunity to pray, eat, sleep, and have morning classes on a variety of topics that were interesting to me, all in the same building.  Included were lots of free time to rest, visit with the other participants, travel to surrounding places to take in the history of this New Mexico city, and be exposed to attitudes and life experiences that are extremely significant as one begins to age.

My second program was to spend at least ten days in the other Incarnate Word Congregations, in Corpus Christi and Victoria, Texas; and in Cleveland, Ohio.  I wanted to experience how they lived their religious lives in community.  I found their meals, prayer times, and community sharing were somewhat different.  As a result of my visits, it gave me a greater appreciation of my own life here in the C. V. I. Houston, Texas, community.

Now for more of the traditional stuff needed for one's autobiography.  My decision was to start backwards.  I want whoever is reading this to want to continue to the end.  I believe that this personal web page must not only be factual but hopefully very interesting reading.

- Retired from active ministry from St. Vincent de Paul Catholic Church in Houston on June 30, 2011.  The Parish and my CCE/LDP staff gave me the most wonderful send-off farewell reception.  I served for 14 years as the Director of Religious Education (DRE) for two-year-olds to eighth-graders.  This assignment definitely broadened my understanding of the Church (both pre- and post-Vatican II).  For the past 20 years, I have presented the National Retirement Appeal for Priests-Brothers-Religious Sisters.  I am very proud to say that St. Vincent de Paul has been the top parish in funds collected all of these years.

- Served as chairperson for the Archdiocese of Galveston-Houston Sesquicentennial (150 year celebration) from 1994 to 1997.

- Had the privilege of serving as the Superior General (CEO) of my Congregation for eight years (1986-94). Being Superior offered opportunities to travel to several countries, such as:  Guatemala where we had a mission in the city of Huehuetenango; a pilgrimage to Medjarogie; French cities such as Lyons, Belmont, Avignon, and the chateau where our foundress, Venerable Jeanne de Matel, was born.  Each have played a significant part in the founding roots of our Houston community, and especially our Incarnational Spirituality.  I joined three other superiors from the U.S.A. to travel in Nairobi, Kenya, and even a Swahili village.  Finally, I attended two International Union of Superior Generals from all over the world in Rome.  These two visits gave me the opportunity to actually meet Mother Teresa of Calcutta. (She sat next to me, and, being the table monitor, I had to ask her to let the other sisters give their input on the questions!)  The group was privileged to have a private audience with His Holiness, Pope John Paul II.



Above:  Sister Jean Marie with Pope John Paul II (now St. John Paul II).

Below:  Mother Teresa (now St. Teresa of Calcutta) with Sister Jean Marie.



Above:  Swim contest at the International Union of Superior Generals in 1994 in Mexico - Sister Jean Marie is at right.  More info here.

Below:  A fundraiser at St. Mary in LaPorte, sometime between 1983 and 1986, resulted in a street in a new development being named for Sister Jean Marie, at least for a while.



- Served as a Councilor in my Congregation for the eight years previous to that (1978-86). These community experiences enabled me to follow the advice of our foundress, Jeanne de Matel, to be an "Extension of the Incarnate Word."

- My first experience with parish life started at St. Mary parish in LaPorte when I was the DRE and Assistant Pastoral Administrator for three years (1983-1986).  

- Before this my early years were in elementary education at Annunciation (1948-50 and 1952-53) and St. Vincent de Paul (1951-52), both in Houston; St. Joseph's in Baytown (1950-51), and St. Joseph's in Bryan (1953-55).  

- In September 1955, I found myself teaching science and math at Incarnate Word Academy (IWA) in Houston, my alma mater.  In 1960 I transferred to Bishop Byrne High School in Port Arthur (my first experience teaching high school boys science and math), and was principal my last two years there.  In 1964 I returned to IWA to serve as principal until 1978.  I was principal at IWA's Marian campus the following year, then the first President (1979-80) and first Development Director (1980-83) at IWA.

So what background was provided to me by the congregation?  B.S. and Master of Religious Education from the University of St. Thomas (UST) in Houston; Master of Education and counselor certification from the University of Houston; and the Spiritual Direction Institute at UST.  I was a member of the first graduating class of the Catechetical Leadership Institute in 2002.  I attended IWA, entering the convent at the end of 10th grade at age 15 going on 16 (this doesn't happen any more).  Graduated while in the convent with my 1948 class.  I usually handle getting the group together for our annual noon luncheon.

Some extra activities very significant to me:  Served as a counselor for the Foreign Study League for four years (1969-72), responsible for eight students spending the summer in Europe; became the Administrator of the program for nine years (1974-1982), responsible for the whole group.  This gave me the opportunity to visit London and other England towns, Paris and many surrounding cities in France, Italy with emphasis on Rome and other places of historical and religious interest, Holland, Austria, Germany , even to Spain for a flamingo and Teresa of Avila, and Greece to visit the Parthenon and a trip to Delphi for the famous Oracle.  [My earlier blog posts on this are here and here.  I always thought it was so cool that she went to Europe nearly every summer when I was a teen, and a little jealous that she made it possible for my mom and youngest sister to go too.]

Above:  Sister Jean Marie Guokas at the Lo Scoglio di Frisio restaurant in Rome with the Foreign Study League, sometime between 1969 and 1972 inclusive.

Below:  Sister Jean Marie Guokas (third from right in back row) in the Netherlands, 1969 (the year she wrote on the back of the photo), on a Foreign Study League trip.



Hope you have enjoyed letting me live my past years with you.  Really helped me to see how blessed I have been by my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.  And I hope my story will in some small way serve as an Extension of the Incarnate Word.  "Praised Be the Incarnate Word!"

My favorite Scripture passage is...."God is love, and whoever remains in love remains in God and God in him." - 1 John 4:16


More photos of Sister Jean Marie over the years are (and more will be) here:  https://www.flickr.com/photos/riofriotex/albums/72177720301409067/

Other blog posts about Sister Jean Marie are here:  https://abt-unk.blogspot.com/search/label/Sister%20Jean%20Marie


© Amanda Pape - 2024 - e-mail me!

Saturday, October 19, 2024

Mom Would Have Been 96 Today



Geraldine Margaret Guokas Pape (1928-2019), about 1952, Houston, Texas.  
She is wearing a hat with a face veil, popular at that time.



© Amanda Pape - 2024 - e-mail me!

Thursday, September 12, 2024

Happy 94th Birthday to My Aunt!




My aunt, Jo Ann (Sister Jean Marie) Guokas, was born September 12, 1930, so she is 94 years old today.  She's also been a nun for 75 years.  In 1949, she made her first profession of religious vows as a member of the Congregation of the Incarnate Word and Blessed Sacrament.  This photo of her and me was taken on June 8, 2024 at a celebration of the event (her 75th Jubilee) at the Villa De Matel in Houston, Texas, where members of her convent now reside.  Normally this event might have been held closer to her feast day (which is is that of her patron saint, Jean-Marie Vianney) on August 4, I'm glad the event was held in June, so that my late husband Mark was able to attend.  Unfortunately, there was not a good picture of the three of us at the event.


© Amanda Pape - 2024 - e-mail me!

Wednesday, September 11, 2024

70 Years Ago...

...my parents, Geraldine Margaret Guokas (1928-2019) and Frederick Henry Pape (1929-2017) got married, September 11, 1954, at Annunciation Catholic Church in Houston, Texas.  This photo is from their reception at the Milford House.  The photo is by Kaye Marvins.





© Amanda Pape - 2024 - e-mail me!

Sunday, June 23, 2024

Utėnai, Smilgiai parish, PanevÄ—ÅŸys district municipality, Lithuania

My daughter will be leaving soon on a trip to the Baltic countries, so I wanted to post these previously-unshared photos from Lithuania taken by my third cousin Osvaldas Guokas (her third cousin once removed), of our ancestral village of Utėnai, two kilometers southeast of Smilgiai and in Smilgiai parish, and part of PanevÄ—ÅŸys district municipality.  

Some of our Guokas ancestors were from Utėnai, with marriages in the late 1700s, births particularly between 1807 and 1819, and deaths in the 1820-1853 range (including my third great-grandfather, Antanas Guokas, in 1820).  By 1852, our ancestor Jonas Guokas (my second great-grandfather) had moved to Čelkiai, about nine kilometers northwest of Smilgiai, where his 12th (of 18!) child, my great-grandfather Kazimieras (later Charles) Guokas, was born in 1863.

Osvaldas visited in early June, 2017, and took the following pictures.  Of the first four, he wrote that he found "old wooden houses....19th century.  It's like my grandparents' house; memories from childhood. Flowers like near the house of my grandma, white windows, doors with a strange mechanism that was very difficult to use in childhood....[you] can see an outhouse near the house [to the right in the background in the first photo]....no toilets inside the house in those times.  An old woman, that I met in this house, let me take some photos. She says that one old Guokas is still living in an old house in the Utėnai area."






Osvaldas also visited a cemetery in Utėnai.  He wrote, "It is very old, with only two crosses we can see in the cemetery. It is small...we can see stones around the cemetery territory."




"One [above]- Narakas (surname), 1901.  Another [below] -  Dominykas, I can read it only with my fingers. It is some surname but it was impossible to understand."



© Amanda Pape - 2024 - e-mail me!



Sunday, May 12, 2024

Memories for Mother's Day

This isn't specifically a memory about Mother's Day, but it is a memory of my mom.  The photo below of my mother, Geraldine Margaret Guokas Pape (1928-2019), was taken sometime in early 1968, at Camp Robinwood near Willis, Texas.  My Junior Girl Scout troop had gone there for a weekend camping trip, and Mom came along to help.  I don't think camping was one of Mom's favorite things, but she did it anyway, to support me and my troop.



© Amanda Pape - 2024 - e-mail me!

Thursday, November 30, 2023

Remembering Mom - It's Been Four Years

Four years ago today, I lost my mother, Geraldine Margaret Guokas Pape, to the effects of nonfluent/agrammatic primary progressive aphasia, a form of fronto-temporal degeneration, at age 91.  I still miss her.  This photo was taken May 28, 2016, at a high school graduation party in Austin, Texas, for her youngest grandson. 


Geraldine Margaret Guokas Pape, 1928-2019, on May 28, 2016


© Amanda Pape - 2023 - e-mail me!

Thursday, October 19, 2023

Mom Would've Been 95 Today



October 19, 2023, would have been the 95th birthday of my mother, Geraldine Margaret Guokas Pape (1928-2019). This photo was probably taken in early 1929, when my mother was a baby and her father, my grandfather Charles Peter Guokas Jr. (1903-1967), holding her, was 25.  They are outside their home with my great-grandparents, Charles (Kazimieras in Lithuanian) Guokas Sr. (1863-1939) and Elizabeth Banaitis Guokas (ElÅŸbieta Banaitytė Guokienė in Lithuanian, 1875-1929), at 1717 Shearn in Houston, Texas.
 

© Amanda Pape - 2023 - e-mail me!

Tuesday, September 12, 2023

Happy Birthday to My Aunt!



My aunt, Jo Ann (Sister Jean Marie) Guokas is 93 today!  Here is a photo of her from 1946 - she is at the lower right.  She is with her companion group that entered the Congregation of the Incarnate Word and Blessed Sacrament convent in Houston, Texas, in 1946.  Five of the six had been students at Incarnate Word Academy (which my mother, Geraldine Margaret Guokas Pape, 1928-2019, also graduated from, in 1945).  The photograph was taken in the beautiful gardens of the Incarnate Word Convent, then at 4650 Bissonnet.

Top row:  Dorothy Sachnik '46, Mary Ann Hollman '47, Agnes Beebe Allien '45.  Bottom row:  Frances Marie Campise, Mildred Bell Fisher '45 (both later left the convent), Jo Ann Guokas '48.


© Amanda Pape - 2023 - e-mail me!

Sunday, May 14, 2023

Happy Mother's Day to My Mom in Heaven!


Eric Bolme escorts his maternal grandmother Geraldine Margaret Guokas Pape (1928-2019) to her seat at his uncle (her son) Mark Pape's wedding, Fredericksburg, Texas, March 1995.


© Amanda Pape - 2023 - e-mail me!

Sunday, April 9, 2023

Happy Easter! Gerrie Guokas, Early 1930s, Houston, Texas


Mom (Geraldine Margaret Guokas Pape, 1928-2019) is holding an Easter basket and is maybe about age 4 or 5 (1933 or 1934) in this picture.  There appears to be a parking lot in the background, so it may have been in a city park or on the grounds of St. Joseph Catholic Church in Houston.


© Amanda Pape - 2023 - e-mail me!

Wednesday, November 30, 2022

Remembering Mom: It's Been Three Years


Geraldine Margaret Guokas Pape, October 19, 1928 - November 30, 2019


It's been three years now since I lost my mom, and I miss her.  This photo of her, taken sometime between 1998 and 2016,  is a favorite of my niece Madison Pape, who yesterday graduated from the University of St. Andrews in Scotland with a master's degree in sustainable development.


© Amanda Pape - 2022 - e-mail me!

Friday, October 28, 2022

My Parents' Grave

Today my siblings, our spouses, my son, and I were able to gather to finally have the Rite of Committal and bury the cremains of our parents, Frederick Henry Pape (1929-2017) and Geraldine Margaret Guokas Pape (1928-2019), at St. Mary's Memorial Garden Cemetery in Fredericksburg, Texas.  


My parents' cremains urns (pictured below) were placed in the vault (pictured above) before the Rite and burial.



Above, left to right:  Mark Pape and wife Nazli Rampi Mayer, Karen Pape, my husband Mark Gresham, Mary Pape, Brian Pape and wife Paige Frederick-Pape, my son Eric Bolme, me.




Originally we had planned to have a Celebration of Life with a larger number of family and friends in April 2020, but COVID caused it to be rescheduled twice and ultimately cancelled.  Some of my four siblings spend large parts of the year in other places (Turkey, Maine, and Colorado), and this was the first time we were all available since the last cancellation.  The weather kind of matched my mood. A cold front came through and it had rained all the night before, and was much cooler (in the 50s) than the previous day (sunny and in the 70s).



Their grave has a view of Cross Mountain (in the center background in the photo above), which was near their 1993-2013 Fredericksburg home after Dad retired.  I think they were happiest in this town.



© Amanda Pape - 2022 - e-mail me!

Wednesday, October 19, 2022

Happy Birthday to Mom in Heaven





© Amanda Pape - 2022 - e-mail me!

Monday, September 12, 2022

Happy 92nd Birthday to My Aunt!


My aunt, Sister Jean Marie (Jo Ann) Guokas, turns 92 today!  Here she is during her high school years at Incarnate Word Academy in Houston, Texas, probably around 1945 or 1946.  She's the second girl from the left.  The others are Sally Cunningham, Vera (Veronica) Mae Kallus Klatt (1930-1984), and Mary Therese Scherer O'Brien.  They were known as "The Big Four" of the Class of 1948.  This photo was taken at a picnic at Charlton Park in the Park Place neighborhood in southeast Houston.


© Amanda Pape - 2022 - e-mail me!

Sunday, September 11, 2022

68 Years Ago...

...my parents, Geraldine Margaret Guokas (1928-2019) and Frederick Henry Pape (1929-2017) got married, September 11, 1954, at Annunciation Catholic Church in Houston, Texas.  This photo is from their reception at the Milford House.  The photo is by Kaye Marvins.






© Amanda Pape - 2022 - e-mail me!

Monday, March 21, 2022

1950 Census Prep: Where Was Charles Guokas III in 1950?

I've been preparing for the upcoming release of the 1950 United States Census on April 5, 2022, by trying to figure out where various family members were in April 1950.  The Census is supposed to have a rudimentary index when it is released (thanks to machine learning to recognize handwriting), but I want to be prepared to browse by enumeration district if necessary.  And therefore, I need to know where family members were in April 1950, so I can find the correct enumeration district (ED) in advance.

In many cases, I already have addresses, thanks to my late mother and thanks to so many city directories being available online.  One challenge I ran into, however, was trying to locate my maternal uncle, my mother's older brother Charles Thomas Guokas III (1927-1999).


Charles Guokas III as a junior at the University of Texas at Austin.  From the 1949 Cactus yearbook, page 92, image 96.


Uncle Charles, who served in the Navy during World War II, appears in the 1949 yearbook for the University of Texas at Austin.  He is also listed in the Austin City Directory for that year (page 300).  The latter says he is a student at U of T residing in FPHA Dorm H.

So just where was FPHA Dorm H?  It's not on the UT-Austin campus today.

I made a comment on a post about another dorm in The UT History Corner blog, and received a private reply from blog author Jim Nicar.  He said,

Thousands of veterans, returning home after the war, decided to go to college under the G.I. Bill. For UT, enrollment more than doubled in the short three months between June and September 1946, which required some quick action on hiring more instructors, finding classroom space, and getting additional housing. ...

Part of the housing issue was solved through the FPHA - the Federal Public Housing Authority - which provided used, wartime "hutments" and transported Bachelor Officer Quarters, or "BOQs", from military bases to college campuses as temporary dorms. The University installed a row of BOQs along today's San Jacinto Boulevard, most of them at the north end, and gave them letter names.

Attached is a 1950 map of campus, with the "H Dorm" circled in the upper right. Today, it's the site of the San Jacinto Parking Garage


A portion of that map, from the Office of the Supervising Architect and dated 16 March 1950, is below (click on the image for a larger view).  I've also annotated it to show the enumeration district it fell in - more on how I found that next.



When I was prepping for the release of the 1940 Census ten years ago, I used a number of great census tools on Stephen P. Morse's website.  The Unified 1880-1950 Census ED Finder includes a tool to find and view ED maps for a city or county from the National Archives and Records Administration (NARA).  For example, here is a portion of the 1950 ED map for Austin (click on the image to make it larger):



This map has tape running right through the area where the FPHA Dorm H was located, so I felt I needed a little additional information to locate its ED.  When you use the Unified 1950 Census ED Finder. you can choose to view a description of the ED's boundaries from NARA microfilm.  Here is the description for ED 256-49 (the 256 indicates that it is Austin) - click on the image to make it larger.



After seeing what the boundaries were, and drawing them on the 1950 map of the University of Texas campus, I feel confident that FPHA Dorm H is in ED 256-49.  When the 1950 Census is released on April 1, I can use the link on the Universal 1950 Census Image Viewer page to maneuver directly to Texas ED 256-49, and browse through all the images of census pages in that ED until I find Uncle Charles.

That is, assuming he still lived in FPHA Dorm H in April 1950.

Uncle Charles does not appear in the 1950 UT-Austin yearbook.  Furthermore, he ultimately graduated from what was was then North Texas State College (NTSC, now the University of North Texas or UNT) in Denton on June 3, 1951, with a Bachelor of Business Administration degree in Management.  However, he does not appear in the 1950 nor the 1951 NTSC yearbooks.

I used the same process I described above to get a map of the 1950 EDs for the city of Denton, where NTSC (now UNT) is located.  You can see a block marked N.T.S.C. in the image below (click on it to make it larger).  However, I had a feeling the same situation was occurring at NTSC as at UT-Austin, with the college rapidly expanding.  Furthermore, I attended UNT in person in the spring of 2006 (to finish my masters in library science), and I knew some of the older buildings on campus extended beyond the area marked as the college on this map.



I commented on a post about early dorms in the UNT University Libraries' 125 Year Archival Retrospective blog.  I got an e-mail reply from Perri Hamilton with the Special Collections department that included a scan of a campus map from the July 1949 college bulletin.  She also told me, 

Most of the residence Halls that were running between 1949 and 1951 were first opened for women and then were changed over to hold men as more dorms were built. Below is a list of dorms or other structures used to house students during these years: 

Marquis Hall - Chilton Hall - Terrill Hall - Music Hall - Orchestra Hall - Oak Street Hall - Vet Village (married couples) - Bruce Hall - Legett Halls (a collection of rooming houses)

I also looked at the 1949-1950 catalog online, and found that Marquis, Terrill, Oak Street, and Bruce Halls were for women (page 64).  Chilton and Legett were men's dorms, along with Ramey Courts, as well as the Little Dormitories, which do not appear on the 1949 map but are, like Legett Halls, "four blocks from the library" (page 66).  The catalog does not mention Music or Orchestra Halls being used as dormitories.

Below, I annotated the map she sent to include the relevant EDs from the NARA map above.  I marked the relevant dorms with red dots.  Since I don't know which dorm Uncle Charles lived in, I will start my search with ED 61-13 (since it contains two of the most relevant dorms, Chilton and Ramey Courts), followed by ED 61-14 (Legett Halls and possibly Little Dormitories) and then ED 61-12 (Music and Orchestra Halls).  Click on the image to make it larger.



© Amanda Pape - 2022 - e-mail me!