January 31, 2006, 12:24 am: live journal

An e-mail I sent Mark, very early on Tuesday, January 31, 2006:

from:		Amanda Pape <********@gmail.com>
to:		Mark Gresham <megresham@********>
date:		Tue, Jan 31, 2006, 12:24 AM
subject:		live journal

I wish there was an easy way for me to tell when I get a new comment on a posting in my Live Journal.  Right now, I can't tell and so sometimes I don't see things until VERY late in the day.  Doesn't help that the time stamps on comments in Live Journal are about six hours ahead of real time - very confusing.  And I am not sure who reads my Live Journal so I have to be rather circumspect.  Still, I was thrilled by one of the comments I got yesterday.

 

I feel very strange.  Sort of like someone kissed me and took my breath away, with an ache deep down inside that just won't go away.  It started Sunday around 5 PM.  Thank God I don't have any pressing schoolwork at the moment or this could be very bad.  I'm so distracted...

 

I've been thinking about your story of you fixing my hair and dressing me up in that sweater dress to go off with that attorney, and how you said it made you feel....I didn't realize it made you feel that way.  I do remember feeling terribly jealous and possessive about you - and when you think about the circumstances back then, those feelings for either of us really didn't make any sense!  Now of course circumstances are different and it might actually make sense....am I making any sense?  Do feelings ever make any sense?  If they did, maybe that achy emptiness would go away....

 

Tomorrow will be a long day.  Working both jobs tomorrow (9 to 5:30 then 6 to 9) won't help.  Or maybe it will, maybe I'll be so busy that I'll forget that I haven't felt this way in so long.

________

Ah yes, that sweater dress.  A gorgeous green angora.  I weighed about 123 when the photo below of me wearing the dress was taken in April 1982, when I was 25.  It was Mark's Christmas gift to me in 1981.  I do remember wearing it to a New Year's Eve party that year that a bunch of City of Corpus Christi attorneys were having.  I had recently befriended one of the female city attorneys - sadly, I cannot remember her name.  Anyway, I think she set me up on a sort of blind date for that party with another city attorney named Ken Fields.  I don't remember much about that New Year's Eve party, only that Ken clearly wasn't interested in me. 

I do remember "feeling terribly jealous and possessive" about Mark, and with "the circumstances back then, those feelings for either of us really didn't make any sense!"  I was single, not interested (at least at that point) in settling down, so Mark was perfect for me (I wasn't his "only" either).  I went out with every guy who asked me out - I was very much playing the field - and was rather involved with a few of them.

And as for 2006 -  I wasn't ready to settle down again then either, at least not at first.  I had another old boyfriend from my college years in the Dallas/Fort Worth area - and plans to see him sometime in February.

© Amanda Pape - 2025 - e-mail me!

January 30, 2006 - Why Mark's Nickname is Breathless

The image below (click on it to view it larger) is from the social networking site LiveJournal, which predated Facebook, and which still exists (but who knows for how long - I may be removing my content).  As I said in an e-mail to family and friends (including Mark) on January 27, 2006, writing about the previous week, 

In the interest of not having to type everything all over, I am directing y'all to my online journal:  http://riofriotex.livejournal.com/  (You can check the link for updates in the future).  I don't write in there very often and when I do I try to be careful about what I say since it's public.  

So a Seattle girlfriend (the same one who e-mailed me asking for the "juicy details" of our date, in yesterday's post) also asked about the date on a comment to my January 27, 2006 post on LiveJournal.  I replied with an abbreviated version of what I later e-mailed to her, and here is what happened next, nineteen years ago today:

Mark also posted a comment, calling me Rio (my user name on LiveJournal was riofriotex) and calling himself Breathless.  His nickname stuck and is what I used for many years when talking about him on Facebook.  

Of course, what he wrote took my breath away - "I think that I'm in love again."  Because that's how I felt too.

Here's a transcript of most of the text in the image:

From: (Anonymous)

Date: January 30th, 2006 11:00 am (local)

Re: lunch date?

Dear Rio:

I recently met an old friend and we walked and talked and did useless things and I had a beautiful time.

I think that I'm in love again.

What do you advise?

Breathless

From: riofriotex 

Date: January 30th, 2006 10:29 pm (local)

Re: lunch date?

O...M...G...

That's so weird, Breathless - we are having the same feelings!

My advice is that we both see the old friend again VERY soon.

And in the meantime...private e-mail or cell phones (this forum might qualify as a PDA ;0 ).

© Amanda Pape - 2025 - e-mail me!

January 29, 2006: "juicy details on the lunch date"

One of my Seattle friends wanted "juicy details on the lunch date."  Here is my e-mail reply to her:

from: Amanda Pape <****@gmail.com>

to: Kathleen  <****@comcast.net>

date: Sun, Jan 29, 2006, 9:05 PM

subject: Re: whirlwind week

OK here is the juice - the lunch date was six hours long.  We ate first at a Mexican restaurant that I had heard on the radio was quite good.  Food was OK (I've had better), but the margarita was good!

 

Then we went walking down main street (Grapevine), which is rather historic and has interesting shops and galleries.  He bought me some pretty sparkly dangly  earrings, one of which I managed to lose within half an hour (post with butterfly back).  We went back and he bought me ANOTHER pair, this time the fishhook style that seem to stay on me.

 

Halfway through we stopped at one of (seven? eight?) wineries in the town, about four of which are in this historic district, and sampled two wines and talked.  Walked some more, and ended the day (around 4:30 - the shops close around 5 PM) at a boulangerie where we had coffee.

 

The weather was absolutely gorgeous today - short sleeve weather but not at all hot.  Oh, yeah, we kissed a little too - he is still a VERY good kisser.

 

________

Thank goodness I'm terrible about cleaning my inbox, and I still had this e-mail to help me remember this date.  I don't remember a lot of the details - but I can still remember the kiss.  He asked if he could kiss me right before I got in my car at the end of our date.  I wrote this to Mark in an e-mail two days later, on Tuesday, January 31, 2006:

I feel very strange.  Sort of like someone kissed me and took my breath away, with an ache deep down inside that just won't go away.  It started Sunday around 5 PM.  Thank God I don't have any pressing schoolwork at the moment or this could be very bad.  I'm so distracted...

More on breath being taken away tomorrow.

The photo below wasn't taken in January 2006.  Instead, it was taken almost exactly ten years later, on January 31, 2016, when we went back to Grapevine to celebrate the tenth anniversary of our "first date the second time around."  

Amanda Pape and Mark Gresham at Messina Hof Winery, Grapevine, Texas, January 31, 2016 / selfie by Amanda Pape / CC BY_NC_ND 4.0

© Amanda Pape - 2025 - e-mail me!

January 28, 2006: Lunch

An e-mail exchange with Mark, back on Saturday, January 28, 2006:

Lunch

from: Mark Gresham <megresham@****>

to: Amanda Pape <****@gmail.com>

date: Sat, Jan 28, 2006, 11:50 AM

subject: Lunch

Esparza's Restaurant is located at 124 E. Worth St. about one block east of Main St. (historic district). It opens at 11am tomorrow.

 

If you can meet me there about 10:30, we can shop, lunch and visit for a while.

 

Mark

from: Amanda Pape <****@gmail.com>

to: Mark Gresham <megresham@****>

date: Sat, Jan 28, 2006, 12:53 PM

subject: Re: Lunch

Let's make it 11 AM, assuming you want to eat then.  It looks like the stores that ARE open (and many aren't, like the chocolate shop -sob! ) don't open until noon or 1 PM (this is the Bible Belt after all, not Southern California or the Pacific Northwest ;0 ).  I did notice (at http://www.grapevinetexasusa.com/ ) that the wine tasting rooms ARE open tomorrow - so maybe more tasting than shopping. See you then.

________

The photo below wasn't taken in January 2006.  Instead, it was taken almost exactly ten years later, on January 31, 2016, when we went back to Grapevine to celebrate the tenth anniversary of our "first date the second time around."  More tomorrow!

Mark Gresham and Amanda Pape at Esparza's Restaurante Mexicano, Grapevine, Texas, January 31, 2016 / selfie by Amanda Pape / CC BY_NC_ND 4.0

© Amanda Pape - 2025 - e-mail me!

January 27, 2006: My mind

An e-mail exchange with Mark, back on Friday, January 27, 2006:

My mind

from: Mark Gresham <megresham@****>

to: Amanda Pape <****@gmail.com>

date: Fri, Jan 27, 2006, 12:06 PM

subject: My mind

I admire a straight-forward woman! I'm not sure what I have in mind, but I do know that I still like who you are.

 

I have a magazine called "Grapevine Today." It describes the shops in "old town" on Main Street. We could prowl the shops, have lunch, I can tell you war stories, you can give me English lessons, we can do useless stuff for a few hours and get to know each other again.

 

I'm sure that your schedule is more complicated than mine, so you can arrange it as you wish, if you wish.

 

You can give me a call ( I'm with Verizon ). I talk better than I can type.

 

Mark

from: Amanda Pape <****@gmail.com>

to: Mark Gresham <megresham@****>

date: Fri, Jan 27, 2006, 7:49 PM

subject: Re: My mind

Yeah, but I can type way better than I can talk.  

 

Today I spent the whole day in the Denton Public Library - the Emily Fowler branch downtown.  I am apprenticed (so to speak) to the Special Collections librarian there and it looks like it's going to be fun, being as their special collections are Texas history, Denton history, and genealogy.  For the life of me, I can't remember exactly when you worked for Denton (you did work for Denton???) so I could look you up in some of the city stuff they had.*  Today I mostly browsed the collection to get familiar with it.  Tomorrow I go back in for a full day of (unpaid) work, 9-6.

 

BUT!  I am free Sunday!  I haven't been to Old Grapevine but I am also willing to drive anywhere too  (well, except maybe downtown Dallas or Fort Worth).  I hear there is a good Mexican restaurant in Grapevine in that historic area called Esparza's** - but I will eat anything if you are buying.  Let me know - A

________

* Mark never worked for the City of Denton.  He did work on a master's degree in public administration at what was then North Texas State University (now the University of North Texas) there.  And his father grew up in nearby Krum, within Denton County, and his grandparents are buried in Krum.

** The photo below wasn't taken in January 2006.  Instead, it was taken almost exactly ten years later, on January 31, 2016, when we went back to Grapevine to celebrate the tenth anniversary of our "first date the second time around."  More to come.

Mark Gresham at Esparza's Restaurante Mexicano, Grapevine, Texas, January 31, 2016 / Amanda Pape / CC BY_NC_ND 4.0

© Amanda Pape - 2025 - e-mail me!

January 26, 2006: (no subject)

An e-mail exchange with Mark, back on January 26, 2006:

(no subject)

from: Mark Gresham <megresham@****>

to: Amanda Pape <****@gmail.com>

date: Thu, Jan 26, 2006, 7:33 PM

I enjoyed our visit. I hope that your job is going well.

 

As I recall, you sometime were compulsive about things, and that is not good for you. I suggest that you take the time to do something that is completely useless, but fun.

 

Let me know if I can help.

 

Mark

from: Amanda Pape <****@gmail.com>

to: Mark Gresham <megresham@****>

date:         Thu, Jan 26, 2006, 10:00 PM

Being compulsive* can be a positive when there's a lot to get done, but you are right, overall it's not good.    I try to take at least a little time every day to be fun and useless.  Like tonight - watched the second period of the Stars hockey game with my cousin, even though I'm not a big hockey fan (or TV fan either for that matter).  In fact I don't watch TV unless it's with someone else, making it a social event.

 

"Let me know if I can help" - that brings back some memories!  I do remember spending a lot of completely useless but incredibly fun hours with you!  What do you have in mind? ;0

 

I'm trying to get all the stuff I HAVE to do out of the way to free up some more time for fun later (particularly as spring approaches).  Multitasking helps too - such as tonight, worked out for over an hour on the elliptical trainer as I had a very dry 32-page article to read [for a library school class].  Reading it any other way would have put me to sleep.

 

* on the other hand, I suppose dropping in on you Monday WOULD be considered a bit compulsive.  I figured you were just as curious as I was about how the other had changed...and hadn't.  A lot hadn't, and that was good.

 

A

--------

It had been about 11 years since Mark and I had last seen each other in person.  I had moved to the Seattle area in October 1984; he moved to California sometime between January 11 and February 9, 1994, after retiring in Grand Prairie, Texas, the previous year.  We'd kept in touch over the years (he even saved a Christmas card and another letter I'd written to him in 1993, as well as a Christmas card and e-mails in 2003 and 2004).  

Mark's parents had lived since 1960 in Bremerton, Washington, which is a ferry ride away across Puget Sound from the Seattle area.  His father died in December 1990 and his mother in November 1994, and in early 1995, he gave me a call to let me know he'd be in Bremerton to prepare his parents' home to put on the market.  He suggested that we meet for lunch along the waterfront in downtown Seattle (I lived in Lynnwood, a suburb to the north, at that time), as he could take a ferry over from Bremerton.

I do remember that we ate at Ivar's Pier 54 Fish Bar just north of the ferry landing.  I probably had clam chowder.  I remember what I was wearing - a nondescript, rather shapeless denim jumper (long gone) over a brown short-sleeve scoop-neck top (still have), so it must have been a warmer day - spring, rather than winter.  I don't remember the exact date, other than that my kids were in school (so before the end of classes in late June - besides, his parents' house sold on August 30, 1995).

I do have a clue as to the date from a pocket calendar I still have from that year (see image below; click on it to view it larger).  I had a note to "Call Mark Gresham" on Friday, May 12 (written on the Saturday, May 13 box, because there was too much stuff already written in Friday's box).  My son was in third grade and my daughter was in kindergarten, which met all day every Monday and Wednesday and every other Friday.  If I had to make a bet, I'd say we probably had lunch on Monday, May 15, because the kids were in a testing period (so I wouldn't be volunteering in their classrooms), and the only thing I had on my calendar that day was a workout (which I'd either skip or do very early).  I was a volunteer extraordinaire and had a rather busy calendar for a stay-at-home mom.

Above:  Part of my May 1995, with a note to "Call Mark Gresham" circled.

Of course, back then, nobody had cell phones or digital cameras, and film (and processing) wasn't cheap.  I didn't take my camera with me (and Mark did not have his either), so there are no photos from that day.  I do remember thinking Mark looked about the same as in October 1984, when I'd last seen him, except for some gray in his hair.  And the only real change in the next eleven years, from 1995 to 2006, was that now that hair was white.

© Amanda Pape - 2025 - e-mail me!

January 23, 2006: Getting Home

An e-mail exchange with Mark, back on January 23, 2006:

Getting home ?

Mark Gresham <megresham@****> 

Mon, Jan 23, 2006 at 6:54 PM

To: Amanda Pape <****@gmail.com>

Would like to know that you got home alright.

Mark

Amanda Pape <****@gmail.com>

Mon, Jan 23, 2006 at 7:34 PM

To: Mark Gresham <megresham@****> 

I surely did.  My cousin and his wife went to the Stars game (they have seasons' tickets) so probably did not really miss me.  I thought he was supposed to be flying though.

 

I'm really glad I called you and stopped.  I had a great time.  We need to do that again sometime.  Right now I have to catch up on schoolwork - I am SO far behind!

 

Amanda

--------

So what prompted this exchange?  My first full week (January 16-22) of my new life in Texas had gone by really fast.  I started my last three library school classes (all online), worked a couple days at my part-time university library assistantship job, got my computer (shipped before I left Washington) delivered and set up, looked for an apartment in Denton, and got invited by my cousin and his wife to just stay in the guest room of their empty-nest house.  (My cousin was a pilot for American Airlines - hence the reference in my e-mail to his flying.)  All this happened just from Monday the 16th through Thursday the 19th.

On Friday, January 20, I went to the American Library Association (ALA) Midwinter Meeting in San Antonio.  I registered for the job placement center as almost an afterthought, but lo and behold, I had two interviews on Saturday!  This made me feel more confident that I might actually find a librarian job when I graduated, and would not be hanging around my cousin's too long afterwards. 

I left the ALA meeting late Saturday, visited my brother in Austin and my parents in Fredericksburg that evening and the next day, and started driving back to Grapevine on Monday, January 23.  There are various routes for this four-hour drive, but when I got to Glen Rose, I opted to turn north, and I pulled over at this roadside park (photo below) a few miles down the road - and called Mark.

Somervell County Picnic Area No. 52, 23 January 2025 / Amanda Pape / CC BY_NC_ND 4.0

We met at a grocery store sign (now gone) on Highway 377 in Granbury, and had dinner at a nearby Chili's Grill & Bar (still there), before I headed back to Grapevine.

Every time I pass this roadside park - like today, coming back from the dentist, when I stopped and took some photos - I remember this as one of the best spur-of-the-moment thoughts I've ever had.

© Amanda Pape - 2025 - e-mail me!

Taking A Chance**

Nineteen years ago today, I came back to Texas, after having lived in Washington state for just over 21 years.  

I was about to start my last semester of library school.  I had been doing an online program with the University of North Texas, but had accepted a graduate library assistantship in Denton for my final semester.  My hope was being in Texas would make it easier to get a librarian job IN Texas after graduation in May.

So two days before (Friday the 13th!), I'd finished packing up a ABF UPack ReloCube (6'x7'x8' high) and cleaning my apartment,* then flown to Houston the following day to pick up a 2002 Camry that my aunt, Sister Jean Marie, had arranged for me to purchase from the parish that had been leasing it.  I spent the night at my sister's place, and hit the road the next day to drive to Grapevine, Texas, where my cousin Tom and his wife Karen had agreed to let me stay a while.  (Grapevine is about 31 miles south of Denton.)

Heading north out of Houston on Interstate 45, I could see the giant statue of Sam Houston in Huntsville from over six miles away, "which for some reason I found exhilarating," as I wrote in my LiveJournal at the time.  So I stopped (the statue did not exist when I last lived in Texas), and a fellow visitor took this picture of me by a model of the face of the statue.

* So what does all this have to do with Mark's and my second romance?  We'd kept in touch over the years, but he'd moved to California after retiring in 1993, so our contact was infrequent.  However, while I was cleaning my Washington apartment, just before unplugging the phone to pack it away - he called that landline number.  He told me that he had moved back to Texas, just a couple months earlier, to a little town southwest of Fort Worth called Granbury.  I told him I was flying to Texas the next day and would be living, at least initially, in Grapevine, about an hour away from him.  He gave me his new e-mail address and cell phone number.  He already had my e-mail, but I gave him my cell number too - and we left it at that.... for the moment.

** And why did I title this post, "Taking a Chance"?  That's exactly what I was doing.  I'd left a nice apartment, a full-time paraprofessional job with a large public library system,  with decent pay, good benefits, and great coworkers, and good longtime friends in Washington, to accept a short-term, part-time job (albeit also with decent pay and good benefits), with no certainty of where I'd be living after my cousin's house, and no definitive job prospects beyond the assistantship.  But I needed some change to my life, and as I stated at the start of this post, I figured it would be easier to get a professional librarian position in Texas if I was already there.  (Definitely easier to interview.)

So yes, I was taking a chance.  And as it turned out, taking a chance on love again, too.  More on that in future posts.

© Amanda Pape - 2025 - e-mail me!

How We Met

The photos in this blog post were not taken on the day we met.  I can't remember exactly what day we met - although I'm pretty sure it was in April or May, 1979.  I can't remember exactly HOW we met, although I have a story I like to tell, which I'll share here.  

These photos were taken exactly 45 years ago today, on January 14, 1980, a Monday, and may have been as much as nine months after we met.  They are terrible pictures, but they are important (especially now), as they are the first photos of us together.  I'd gotten back home to Corpus Christi late the day before, after a nine-day road trip around Texas with my cousin Donna.

I believe he gave me the large dark green ring that you can see in the pictures on my left hand just a few weeks before, at Christmas 1979. The ring was sterling silver with a large malachite stone in an unusual shape. I wore it for years, until the stone fell out somewhere.  (I do, however, still have the dress I am wearing, which my mother made for me.  And it still fits.)

Above and below:  Mark Gresham and Amanda Pape, Corpus Christi, Texas, 14 January 1980.  Taken with Amanda's Pentax SLR mounted on a tripod and using a self-timer.

So here's the story, as I remember it.  

I started working for the City of Corpus Christi, Texas, Park and Recreation Department on Monday, April 2, 1979, two days before I turned 22.  One of the first assignments I got from my director was to prepare our department's revenue estimates for submission to the Budget Office - of which Mark was the director.

The Park and Recreation Department generated revenue - income - for the City through a variety of fees - swimming pool and tennis center admission fees, fees to play a round of golf and rent golf carts and other equipment, registration fees for teams participating in the city's athletic leagues, facility rental fees, and marina boat slip rental fees, just for starters.  

I had to look at the previous year's estimates and year-to-date revenues, and come up with estimates for the next fiscal year, as well as write a justification for my figures.  I looked at the forms for previous years and found little justification for the numbers generated, so I worked really hard to come up with good, well-justified estimates. (Fellow R&P major friends - Crompton's RP 401 helped!)

Not too long after submitting the estimates, I had to go to the Budget Office to meet with our department's liaison there, Randy Moravec.  Mark came by Randy's desk to introduce himself.  I'd like to think it was because Mark was impressed by the estimates I'd produced, and the detailed justifications.  No, he told me - he says he just saw an attractive woman at Randy's desk that he didn't know, and he wanted to meet her.

And the rest is history.  Tune in again tomorrow when I jump ahead to 2006 and our second romance.

© Amanda Pape - 2025 - e-mail me!